Burning Man Decompression

Dear Guest, If this letter is addressed to you, then your reservation has been confirmed. Please do not give it to somebody else. The Hotel is very particular about correspondence and rather less particular about almost everything else. We are delighted to welcome you to The Grand Hotel for Peculiar Burners, appearing this October at Kraftwerk Zürich. Your room is ready and Reception has been informed of your arrival. When you enter, the baby will give you your key. Ask for a cookie. This is not compulsory, but you will regret it if you do not. Hotel regulations require every guest to declare one peculiarity at check-in. It will be entered into the Registry and remain attached to your stay. Please bring yours with you. The Hotel has no dress code. We expect you to look like the peculiar person you are, wearing whatever makes you feel free, alive and magnificent. If that means matching shoes and office attire, there is a monster by the stairs that will eat you. You may bring luggage. The bellhop will take care of anything you cannot carry yourself, including things you have been carrying for years and are frankly tired of discussing. Please label everything clearly. Bananas do not require labels. Chickens do. Once checked in, you are free to explore. Breakfast does not exist here, even if you ask nicely. Except on Sundays. On Sundays, we do breakfast. The bar, on the other hand, remains open whenever somebody forgets to close it. Should you lose your phone, wallet, or an article of clothing, Reception will do its best. If nothing turns up, we may be able to provide a small toy replica so you can pretend the problem has been resolved. Should you lose a memory, an afternoon, or an old version of yourself, please proceed directly to Lost & Found Memories. There is a reasonable chance someone has already handed it in. You may also encounter the Normality Inspectors during your stay. They are harmless unless provoked by prolonged displays of sensible behaviour. I